If I can’t be the best, why try?
I only did well on that project because I got lucky...
Why would anyone want to hear what I think?
What if I get called out for being a fraud?
I can’t handle everything on my plate right now, so I must be a failure….
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? If you have thoughts similar to these examples often then you may be struggling with imposter syndrome. You may have heard the term before since it’s a phrase that’s been circling social media a lot lately. But maybe you’re wondering what imposter syndrome actually looks like, if you’re experiencing it, and how to overcome it so you can live your best life. Amiga - you’ve come to the right place!
What IS Imposter Syndrome?
First I’d like to mention that imposter syndrome is not a currently diagnosable mental health condition, but many mental health professionals report that experiencing imposter syndrome is pretty common and can often show up with other diagnosable conditions like anxiety and depression. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines imposter syndrome as, “a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity and incompetence despite evidence that you are skilled and successful.” Okay, if you just read that definition and thought to yourself, “but I’m not successful…” then this article was made with you in mind!
Imposter Syndrome might look like:
Intense anxiety about evaluations at work
Constantly questioning your own choices
Dismissing positive feedback and compliments
Fear that you’re always disappointing someone
Hardly ever taking time to celebrate your successes
Essentially, imposter syndrome makes you feel like you’ll never be enough. Where do we get these beliefs? We get a lot of these beliefs from childhood and the messaging we get from our parents, peers, and the media. Personally, I’ve noticed these thoughts and behaviors are common amongst children of immigrants. As the daughter of an immigrant myself, I think our collective imposter syndrome may be linked to the immense pressure we face to fulfill our familia’s big dreams or fear at the thought of diverging from their ideas of success and stepping into our own dreams.
That is a lot of pressure to be dealing with! But if this resonates with you please know that you are not alone. I’ve been there many times and I know plenty of other mujeres poderosas who feel like frauds and struggle to embrace their strengths. The good news? Like every challenge in life, there is hope and there are solutions.
How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
(and embrace the chingona you are!)
Recognize Your Thoughts and Feelings
The first step is to slow down these automatic negative beliefs about yourself enough so that you can recognize when they come up. Do you feel like a fraud at work? Worry that you aren’t enough when you’re with a certain group of friends? What physical feelings come up for you (i.e. stomach cramps, tense jaw, sweat etc.)?
It’s likely that your brain has hard-wired these negative beliefs, and you will only be able to change them if you can spot the patterns and feelings around them. An easy exercise that might help with this is writing down imposter-like thoughts you had during the day and where you were/who you were with when the thought came up. You can do this in a journal or in a note on your phone, whatever is easiest as long as you are consistent for at least one full week (or longer if you find this helpful!)
Challenge Your Thoughts
Now that you’ve been able to identify and record these thoughts it’s extremely important that you understand this: just because you think it, doesn’t make it true.
Start by picking one recurring negative/limiting thought you have about yourself, for example maybe it’s “who do I think I am to do ____?”
When did you first start having this thought? Was it recent or did it start when you were young? Did someone else directly or indirectly say this thought to you? Is there evidence that this thought is not true? For example, I didn’t think I’d ever graduate high school, let alone go to college and then get a master’s degree, so when I think to myself “who am I do __” I remind myself: you are the woman who has already surpassed her wildest dreams.
Let that sink in because I’m very confident the same is true for you. Sit with these thoughts, get curious about them, look for evidence that they are not fact (even though your mind presents them as such).
Avoid Comparison
There’s a famous quote that says, “comparison is the thief of joy” and I 100% agree. For folks like us that are managing perfectionism, imposter syndrome, anxiety etc. it’s especially important to be mindful of not comparing ourselves as it puts extra strain on our stressed out brains.
To avoid comparison I suggest unfollowing any social media accounts that make you feel “less than” and to also avoid time with people IRL who prompt you to feel the same. It doesn’t have to be forever but give yourself some grace and a little break while you unlearn the imposter syndrome beliefs.
If you’re stuck in comparison I recommend having an affirmation handy to help you break out or the cycling thoughts that someone else has what you want or that you aren’t good enough to have those things. Some affirmation examples are: “there is more than enough for all of us,” or “My journey is uniquely beautiful and cannot be compared to anyone else’s.” Play around with making up your own and see what resonates!
Highlight the Positive Amiga, you are a unique and beautiful soul. I know it doesn’t feel like that right now and that may even sound cheesy, but it is the truth. In order for you to overcome feeling like an imposter and step into the fullest expression of your chingona self, you need to recognize your strengths and accomplishments.
A fun exercise to get started is to make a weekly “ta-da” list. I first heard about “ta-da”
lists on the podcast “Happier” with Gretchen Rubin and instantly adopted the practice.
Essentially it’s the opposite of a “to-do” list! A “ta-da” list is where you sit down and
write all of your accomplishments for the week. I mean ALL of them. When I really
need a boost I write down everything such as:
Did the dishes
Called mis abuelos
Worked out twice
Wrote a new article
Advocated for myself at work
Mediated three times
Rested for 30min
You get the idea! Anything and everything that demonstrates how capable you actually are should go on that list. Little by little your brain will start to absorb the message, “I get a lot of sh-t done! I’m not a fraud!” So keep consistent and keep it fun.
Final Thoughts
All of the suggestions here are just that - suggestions! If you’re struggling with imposter syndrome I recommend you give these steps an open-hearted try for a consistent period of time to see if you’re feeling any positive changes. If you feel that your imposter syndrome is connected to a larger mental health condition such as depression or anxiety please reach out to your insurance, your school or a therapist directory to speak with a trained mental health professional. Remember this article is for informational purposes and does not substitute therapeutic services.
La terapia no es para locos - it’s for anyone and everyone who needs extra support.
So don't let this get yourself down, you got this.
Suggested Therapist Directories:
Inclusive Therapists: https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/
Latinx Therapy: https://latinxtherapy.com/
Therapy Den: https://www.therapyden.com/
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